This has been a week of rather deep talks. I had missed them. With the people around me I usually stay on the surface and it was boring me. But the last few days I was talking to two women about great ideas and interesting stuff. One of them was my mum.
We had a skype date which she had not set up. She does not use a computer, never did. She does not use internet and survives perfectly well. She does not own a mobile phone and has not been driving a car for ages, although she once got a driving licence. I admire her for that. Obviously, her life circles around the region she lives in, but with others setting it up for her, she can skype with her daughters who are spread all over the world. She forces herself out of that comfort zone of writing an unpersonal text message or a mail. I like that she must talk to people if she needs to make a call urgently. She has to approach people if she needs to be driven somewhere. She bakes bread for them or takes care of their dogs or buys them tea.
And she always says that something will come up anyway. Something will unfold, something will arise, or as people elsewhere say: Life takes care of itself. We do not have to worry. I learned that from travelling and I learned that from my mum.
Some days later I left my classmates stressing in the classroom in front of the big computer screens and took the train twenty kilometers out of Ö, where the farmer’s mother picked me up. She is over eighty, about thirty years older than my mum, and she still drives her car – though not in the dark anymore – and she has a mobile phone and we are communicating via mail. She moved into a small historical house, had some parts painted red and green and had some flowery wallpaper put up. Her family history stretches over places like England, Java and South Africa and the house is full of Indonesian gongs and Japanese figurines and old exotic frniture. She has travelled a lot herself and although she said that now is the time for her to stay at home, she told me she prefers to travel alone to be able to do what she wants. I totally agreed. And she said something very wise: Maybe you do not need a certain place that you can always come back to, that can be you center which you are circling around. Maybe it can be a person. (and later:) Maybe it can even be a table.